I am not usually a 5am person, but boy do I want to be! I dream of this life where I wake up at the same time every day because I am amazing at schedules, I walk into my kitchen that I so neatly put back together the night before. I would unload the dishwasher and start my morning routine of coffee and avocado toast as I do my daily devotional or simply talk to God and plan my day. I would start breakfast, making more so I could provide my husband with lunch and be finished just as my husband got up for his morning routine. Then the baby would wake because she realized I was not next to her and her Papa’s warmth had also gone. And as I sat her down for breakfast my toddler would come into the dining room rubbing his sleepy eyes, shuffling to his seat because he doesn’t like to be left out.

It’s weird that that sounds so relaxing and perfect to me! Especially as I lay here with one breast out trying to get the baby back to sleep so I can get a few more winks before my husband gets up and noisily gets ready for work, waking up both kids then my toddler will insist on eating cereal only to not take a single bite before pulling out every single toy he owns and dumping them on the floor of our tiny room. My nephew and mother-in-law would then come out of their room and she would start cooking something as he invaded my personal space while trying to talk to the baby and he and my son would then start running and screaming because they haven’t seen each other in a few hours. All the while I have yet to brush my teeth or have my coffee.

No it’s not the morning I dream of in the house I would like, there is no dishwasher and I have not once used the oven because my in-law’s keep dishes in it. But it is a morning with family and in that I know God is showing me something. I am blessed to have such love and life in the home we share with other family members. There is a beauty in it that I know I will miss when we have gone from this place. And, daily, I try to remind myself of that. All things in their own time. Sometimes, like today, I even get to get up at 5am and watch as the tiny room turns from dark to light. ❤️